Last
Something said...
Annie, I was her virgin lover…the first man to penetrate her. To feel her from inside and be known doing so. We needed to make eye contact as I orgasmed. She was bold and direct about her desire and I loved that about her. The only other man would be Lane, for the sole purpose of my licking his semen out of her vagina. This gift fom her was the fruit of some kind of ancient sacred compact.
When I first met her she said she was into women. I thought it was a relief to be with a gorgeous girl but not have to negotiate attraction, since I was not a chick. She knew I was mirror celibate. She was staying in Blue Studio and makde a project of organizing my cum mirrors. At first I was mortified that she would do this and then I felt her gesture of respect. Of service.
I was emerging through my “year and a day” celibacy phase, which was really about fifteen months, five or six seasons…having let go and done it, one cross quarter at a time…and subjected myself to deep examination by my clearness council of Eryca and Christie. I gave the women the power to suggest additional mirror celibacy, to suggest permanent mirror celibacy, or to release myself to sniff and sip again.
The three possibilities.
In what emerged as a profound moment of trust healing with women, with all women, I turned my sexual destiny over to them.
They determined I was ready to receive the yoni again when I found myself deep in ritual with Eryca surrendering to lifetime mirror celibacy. I don’t remember how I got there. We were in deep agreement that for me, cunt was over.
She denied me her cunt and I said I was surrendering to be my lifetime self monogamous lover.
“…I will never suck cunt again”…You will never suck my cunt, or any cunt again. You will never suck cunt again. You can have this if you want it…
That sent me I
begged for my own mercy.
Some months passed. I examined the tension I felt with every woman I was attracted to. I began to ease in. And to make it easy I had the company of a woman who was not into men sexually. She was aware of my masturbation but had never been with me.
Then one night Annie said, you can do anything to me that you want. And I said, you said you were a lesbian. And she said, yeah, and I want you. I felt myself feel it through perhaps not long enough…and said, OK. Yes.
I mean, this spry tart of a nymph was irresistable. She asked me to carry her upstairs to my room. She was that small. I spent the next three days drinking from the plump lips of her vagina. I wanted to drink her until I smelled like her. And that was fine with her. I licked her asshole out. She was the perfect subject of my deep delight, though with Annie I would tongue her ass then cunt then ass, that naughty thing.
And then I realized…I had sucked cunt again.
After so long…after such deep dramas
So ensued my love affair with Annie.
Nothing overt, just this sense…she arrived with maybe my last. Something about she being lesbian and yet choosing me…and she did. Something about knowing she knew, knowing we had agreed to this. Setting up the scene where I licked Lane’s semen out of her pussy and off of her asshole was one gesture of her awareness.
I find videos of her masturbating odd little places, showing me what she does, in one scene she recorded herself selfucking with a dildo that looked as big as her…then her pelvis trobbing and her pussy spurting in ultra slow motion as she withdraws her silicone cock revealing her fat luscious twat lips. Her body weight was 10% cunt. Yes I drank her piss. I had no choice. She was so audacious as to mount my face, enticing me with cunnilingus, and then masturbating to orgasm and…pissing into my mouth.
This disgusted me and I accepted her gift. I loved her certainty that she could do it because I would not stop her and would ultimately love her for it. Then she would pick up my spattered mirror and describe what it is.
One night she wanted to fuck me. There was an edge of desperation to her. I loved that she initated sex. Tonight we were not going to masturbate together. She wanted me deep in. She told me to put it to her. I sat up against the bed and she laid back and masturbated for me, her eyes burrowing into mine. After making a spectacle of her yearning, it was time.
She laid back and wrapped her legs around me and pushed my cock into her snug little snatch. I plunged slowly and then thrust and pulled her onto me deeply, and used her body as my masturbation toy.
That was what she loved and knew I would lose myself to. She wanted me to let my voice, face and heart go as she witnessed me take my pleasure from her. Her eyes saying cum all you want, I’ve got you.
Then it happened…I slipped up to my point of no returning and as she opened her eyes to see me look right at her and go let go, cupping her little butt in my fingers, iwe understood what was happening, more deeply with each sweet throb of release-receive, and as moments fled into the past, what had just happened.



Eric, your level of recall and documentation is impressive. Your sexual journey and willingness to share is a testament to the audacity of deep conversation. The presence of your imagery draws me in to a sacred space. Your capacity to hold this safe space of exploration deepens the intimacy beyond words.