An Inference
in a hazy liminal space of consciousness…
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I thought of something that might open something up….an inference.
I must be explicit, hope that is OK. There is something specific that I see I’m getting at…in a hazy liminal space of consciousness…just lucid enough…in two recent stories that’s somewhat new space...
This is from the first story…earlier in the evening —
She knew how to make him lose control. He breathed deeper and then he grunted out as she pointed his penis right into my mouth.
“Drink your daddy,” she said matter of factly, and to my sudden shock. And then it happened.
To my sudden shock…mm hmm...I was not expecting her to invoke daddy in that sensitive moment and yet…how beautiful and cathartic. So intuitive of her...
A deep veer into father…my ritual pregnant mother is milking my ritual father’s semen into my mouth. My mother is initiating me into my manhood by allowing me to drink my father’s ejaculation…saying it’s OK…showing me it’s OK by helping...saying she does it regularly…and making sure it happens for me...
Then at the end of the second story, “If you want…” —
I wanted them to both know good how I felt. I was very happy and nourished and felt loved and yes — licking his asshole out made it all the better.
When he had emptied himself to me and I had received all of his seed, I straightened up and looked at them both, my lips and cheeks wet with them, and I thanked them together. There was a long pause.
“Baby wants to mirror masturbate,” she said to me with a slight mocking tone. “And we want to make love.”
After all we had done that evening, I still felt a surge of embarrassment. She was right…I wanted to, urgently. ‘“Yes,” I admitted.
She clasped my wrist, wet my palm on her dripping vulva and said, “There’s a mirror behind the bedroom door. We’re not going to watch you. You need to do this alone, for yourself.”
Take care of yourself. Grow up and be a man. You have drank your father’s semen. You are ready to stand alone. We are your parents; we know all about you; we will make love without you here. Masturbate alone into your mirror…take responsibility for feelings and your self awareness…and your orgasm and your semen.
Nourish yourself.
I think this is the essential nature of “mirror celibacy.”
efc